Doing Nothing: Escapism, and Perhaps Addiction

Perhaps, I should tread lightly here. I do speak sometimes about addiction, its ever-increasing presence in American culture, and the ability for you to safeguard against addiction-related problems in your estate plan.

But when you break it down, what is addiction? I recently stumbled upon an old column in Psychology Today that explained addiction in these terms:

“Psychologically speaking, addiction is all about escapism. Avoidance. Denial. Addicts run from reality, and in some cases have been running all their lives. The addict cannot tolerate reality and its vicissitudes. Neither internal reality nor external reality. They find reality repugnant, uncomfortable, and overwhelming, and prefer, like the psychotic, withdrawal into fantasy, bliss, or oblivion over reality. They seek constantly to alter subjective and objective reality to their own liking. For one thing, reality — the existential facts of life — can be both painful and anxiety-provoking. Like all of us, addicts don't like confronting pain or feeling anxiety. That's human nature and comports with Freud's "pleasure principle": We all tend, whenever possible, to avoid pain and seek pleasure.”

Escapism – noun; The tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.

Certainly, we’d imagine that does fit the bill for most addicts. But rest assured, you need never try any drug or even a single sip of alcohol to engage in escapism. Everyone engages in escapism sometime or another. And often, it’s by doing nothing.

Nothing! I talk about nothing a lot, too. I often reference the “do nothing” plan when it comes to estate planning. The details are entirely in the name; you do nothing.

This is not an uncommon plan. In fact, if you do partake in this plan, you’re safely within the majority. 58% of American adults currently have the “do nothing” plan. And you don’t need to guess how I feel about the “do nothing” plan.

Why do so many Americans, most of whom are really in need of a fully fleshed out estate plan and would probably admit as much, just sit back and continue to do nothing? I think I know why.

It’s because doing nothing . . . feels good!

It does! And not just for estate planning. Think about other areas of your life when you know you should be doing something but would rather not.

“I really should go do the gym today. But . . . ah, not today. I’m just going to lounge on the couch.” That feels good.

“I really should start a diet. But . . . ah, that pie is just going to go to waste! I’ll diet soon.” That feels good, too.

“My spouse and I really need to sit down and talk about our finances. This might get awkward or even heated . . . ah, we can do it another night.” Again, feels good.

It’s all escapism. It’s the same thing that addicts do. It’s trying to put an unpleasant reality out of our minds.

But what’s unpleasant about estate planning? Well, you’ll have to meet with an attorney, which perhaps you’ve never had to do before. It’s going to cost money, and maybe you don’t know how much. Oh, and there’s that little part about recognizing and planning for your own mortality. Who really wants to deal with all of that?

So, people just choose not to. They’ll justify it to themselves by saying things like,

“We have other, more immediate issues to deal with before we get to that.”

And there’s the always popular,

“We’re just not ready.”

It’s the same words an overweight individual will tell him/herself to avoid starting a diet. It’s the same words a smoker will say to avoid trying to quit. And it’s the same words an addict would say, right?

Look, I’m not trying to put avoiding estate planning on the same level as shooting heroin. I’m also not trying to shame anyone, because I hate that.

But I do want all adults who are reading this, especially those of you with young children, to know that whatever reason you’ve given yourself for not sitting down and putting together an estate plan is not a good reason. It’s just not.

So please, let 2019 be the year that you break away from escapism and get to work on the important things you know you darn will should be doing.

To learn more about basic estate planning or to schedule your free initial appointment, contact me at (920) 221-0320 or By Email.